• Etiange D.

Do The Words Have The Same Meaning… For All of Us?

Updated: Nov 9, 2021

I think a huge part of the reason why we experience confusion or harsh misalignment when we are conveying a strong opinion or perception on something is due to the meanings we give behind the words we use.

The foundation of the language we speak is the same, but we don’t all speak the same language… if that makes sense. What do I mean?

I was having a Vedic Astrology reading done the other day, and my reader, Kinue, was explaining to me the energy of my 4th house. He said this house represents the house of the Mother. With my placements, he explained that my mother could have been very hard headed, well researched, intellectual, strict, and disciplined.

I furrowed my brow at that… because my mom is nothing of the sort. In fact, my mother is more spiritual, intuitive, and feeling-based. This wasn’t the first time a reader had mentioned this energy in my 4th house. I brought up my confusion by noting that it wasn’t my mother who was like that. My father is the one who had that sort of demeanor, as well as had been my primary caretaker for my most important developmental years as a woman.

Kinue then said, “Well that just depends on the meaning you give to the label, ‘the Mother’. What I mean by ‘the Mother’ is the one who nurtured you. So, it doesn’t necessarily have to be your mom, but rather, the one who influenced you the most in that regard.”

That dialogue made me consider all the ways in which we can communicate to one another and completely miss the message that the other meant to convey. We say we love someone or something, but my version of what it means to love may be completely different from another’s.

How do we bridge the gap? Here are some things that I’ve learned can help with creating stronger communication between you and another:

  • Don’t be afraid to be confused. When learning to communicate with someone, don’t be afraid to miss the mark or say that we don’t understand exactly what they mean. Asking for clarity is nothing to be ashamed about!

  • Listen first, before you respond. This can be especially hard in and argument when we are more likely to turn on our defense mechanisms rather than receive exactly what is being said to us. We often times are so quick to put our two cents in rather than really register what the other person just said. Listening is also a form of communication. We will have our chance to be heard!

  • Understand that everyone is living from a different POV in the same reality. We won’t always meet someone eye-to-eye in the ways they express and share themselves. Empathy, compassion, and acceptance go a long way when learning to understand another’s communication style.

  • Patience, darling! Being patient with yourself and another as you work to come to the same page in the story is the greatest gift! We are all walking each other home. Finding a solid foundation together rather than escalating and destroying at the first bout leads to more friends, less enemies.

There are so many more ways to navigate communication/perception errors! Sometimes we let our pride get in the way of deep intimacy and understanding.

Keep in mind as well, sometimes, not everyone will meet you on the same page, and are committed to misunderstanding you and what you stand for. That is okay. Rather than expending energy running in circles trying to get them to understand, it is okay to place a proper break in communication. Space for the other person to receive new information in a different way, or let go altogether.

In the journey towards unification in this world, I feel it’s an important skill to learn how to communicate with each other that moves us towards a common foundation, rather than prove who’s right or who’s ideas are the best. How can you find a better way to communicate with your peers?

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